Tips for dating a girl who’s been single for a WHILE

There are three people in the world. Those who flit from relationship to relationship within weeks. Those who have had the same steady partner since they were in nappies. And then there’s my kind: those who could go a few years without a relationship.

I’ve been single for a few years, but I’ve been dating for a couple of months. In this time, and on the back of a great article I read in Cosmo once,  I’ve come to realise there are a few things still misunderstood about a person who has been #foreveralone for, well, forever.

We’re not entirely the best at sharing.

Food. Beds. TV schedules. Personal space. We’ve had this to ourselves for quite some time, so it’s a little alien for us to have another human being who needs a bit of bed space/the TV to watch the match/something to eat at six o clock.

Our food habits make take some time to change

In the years Before Relationship (BR) there was no problem with changing the menu from chicken curry to sweet and sour pork at half four because you felt like it. But now, you’re not just cooking for one. Any menu changes have to be forward to everyone, and gone are the days you could just give up and order pizza for the night instead.

Also, we’re pretty used to making a “meal for two” into a “meal for two days”, or a meal for one if we’re feeling generous (or hungry). The same portion sizes were once dinner tonight, lunch in the office tomorrow, and maybe even tomorrow’s dinner if we could stretch that far.

We’re a little selfish with making plans

It’s not that we didn’t think you didn’t want to come out with us Thursday night, it’s that we’re sort of not familiar with having to work with two schedules. When you’re a long time lone wolf, it’s a bit of a culture shock to introduce a new human into the plans we’ve made before. Don’t get upset if we can’t seem to find the time for a date night- we’re still adjusting to this new way of life.

Yes, the rumours are true. We have a lot of cats.

I myself have three. My girl Katy has one. Ain’t nothing wrong with a bit of furry love.

See also: dogs.

Our friends know all about you. Our parents don’t know you exist.

Our parents have known us as Single Sallys for so long, a new friend on the scene might stir up pretty sizeable heart palpitations, and thoughts of a June wedding if Mam can get the priest’s blessing in time. Our inner circle, on the other hand, has been there when we were dating Mark, Ciaran, Harry, Jake and Tom. So yes, they’re probably judging you maybe just a little bit after having seen what we went through with those guys. Sorry.

Sometimes, and without meaning to, we kinda forget we’re not single anymore.

Not in a “heading out to Coppers on the pull every Saturday” way, but more of a “TV on, pants off, Friends marathon and Chinese” way. Probably sooner than expected into the courtship, too.

We’re not entirely sure what we’re doing

How often is too often to text? When should I suggest leaving a toothbrush at yours? Is it too soon to invite you to my cousin Caroline’s wedding in November? It’s a learning curve, and an alien territory. But, we think you’re worth learning this with. Just bear with us, we’ll catch on in our own good time.


One thought on “Tips for dating a girl who’s been single for a WHILE

  1. I loved this! Especially the food/bed. Before I met my current boyfriend, I was single for agggges. It didn’t bother me, but when we started getting serious, I found it very hard to give up room in my bed, or share my food. Or attempt to look alluring. He got to witness the single girl behaviour pretty early on. You know, the wearing ratty PJs and no makeup when they call over, instead of trying to look nice…. Ah well!


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