What life would be like if I were interviewed by Hot Press

In my line of work (or future line of work, anyway) I often find myself with a dictaphone in my hand firing questions at whoever my next helpless victim is. I figured it was time for me to see what it’s like on the other side of the microphone.

Now, I wouldn’t call myself an avid Hot Press fan, but I do occasionally dip in and out, depending on if the fund situation allows. I don’t just read it for the articles, or the ridiculously cringey personal ads that appear in the back (I’ve seen the one looking for an experienced BDSM person about six times by now.) No, my favourite bit is the Q&A at the start of the magazine, and pretending to answer them as if Hot Press cares about my answers. Well tonight, I’m taking the hot seat and answering the questions as if I were in Hot Press.

Who would be the last person you’d invite to your birthday party?

Any of the people who turned out to be horrible, or backstabbers. Don’t want anyone ruining the buzz.

Who would be the first person you’d invite to your birthday party?

I had to think about this A LOT, but I finally narrowed it down to Amy Huberman. Judging solely from her Twitter account, the woman is hilarious. I have a feeling she and I could be bestos for life and sit on the couch forever drinking wine and eating Tangtastics.

Favourite saying?

I have a lot of sayings. I can’t narrow it down to just one.

Favourite record?

This is where the girl in me comes out. I’m obsessed with Katy Perry, and any music question will mirror this. The new edition of Teenage Dream makes me ridiculously happy.

Favourite book?

All of my favourite books are listed here. I can’t go into detail on them in this post or we’ll be reading all day.

Favourite film?

Disney. Anything Disney. Or 500 Days of Summer.

Favourite author?

Amy Huberman. The number of times I’ve said ‘that’s s0 me’ while reading Hello Heartbreak is criminal.

Favourite actor/actress?

Neil Patrick Harris. The only gay man who can convincingly portray a womaniser and still get me to fall in love with him.

Favourite musician?

Well this is a little too obvious. . .

Most embarrassing moment of your life?

Seriously? I’m not falling for that.

Favourite TV programme?

How I Met Your Mother. Robin and Barney are my favourite TV couple of all time, and when The Robin happened I cried.

Favourite TV personality

I love Paddy McGuinness. He’s funny, he’s got an amazing accent, but unfortunately he’s too tall for anything to happen.

Favourite item of clothing

I’m gonna cheat and say a type of footwear. Over the last few months I have grown an unhealthy obsession with wedges. I even bought two pairs in a week during my Christmas holidays. I have a serious problem, and now I have no money.

Most desirable date?

Joseph Gordon Levitt. Ever since 500 Days of Summer, it’s been love. And I wouldn’t be half as much of a bitch to him as Summer was.

Favourite method of relaxation?

Cooking. I’m a big foodie, and I love making food, sitting back with a cup of tea and crap TV and having a fat day.

If you weren’t pursuing your present career, what other career might you have chosen?

To be honest I’ve never seen myself as anything but a journalist. Bar the two months when I thought I wanted to be a teacher. It was all I knew when I was growing up, so it could have been an alternative. I don’t even know now what the alternative would be. That’s how boring I am; when I get an idea into my head, you’re gonna have a hard time changing my mind.

Biggest thrill

Getting into the college course I’d been obsessed with since I was 16. Yes, I’m THAT much of a sadcase that getting to college is the highlight of my life.

Biggest disappointment

Not being as outgoing while I was in secondary school as I am now. It made sixth year a living hell.

Your concept of heaven?

Bill Gate’s bank account details.

Your concept of hell?

Bill finding out I have his bank account details.

What would be your dying words?

Hopefully something profound, for once in my life. Better to leave it late than to have never said it at all.

Greatest ambition?

To spend New Years Eve on Sydney Harbour before I die. I spent a month in Australia with my family when I was 12, and I fell in love with the place. Ever since, it’s been my mission to return someday, hopefully to watch the fireworks at New Years in person and not on Sky News at 1pm.

Period of history you’d most like to have lived in and why?

The War of Independence. It was a really exciting time in Irish history and it’s always been something that fascinated me. I’d love to have had a chat with Michael Collins too.

If you weren’t a human being, which animal would you have been?

A cat. Preferably one of my cats because those two are treated like bloody kings at home.

Image

I’d probably be him. He’s the baby of the house. And the only one who can get away with waking me at 6 am so he can come in and sleep at the end of my bed.

If you were told that the world was ending tomorrow morning, how would you react/what would you do?

Spend every cent I own on something stupid. OH, and tell all the people I love that I love them. And reveal the dealings of someone I know to someone who matters to them. I’m a horrible person. (Not really.)

Your nominee for the world’s best dressed person?

I love how one of the girls in my class dresses, but I’m not sure if that’s applicable here? In the world of celebrity, I love how Jennifer Lawrence dresses.

Biggest fear?

The old reliable: death. I used to have a pretty severe fear of needles, but I think the fact that I have several piercings and am planning a tattoo for my 21st has shown that I’m over that. I still squirm at the dentist’s though.

Humanity’s most useful invention

The dictaphone. I’d be lost without it, I forget EVERYTHING people say.

Humanity’s most useless invention

Nicki Minaj. Sorry.

All questions courtesy of HotPress magazine. No copyright intended.
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