Sh!t My Parents Say

Upon viewing the above video, I came to a sudden and startling realisation. My parents say very few of these phrases. They have their own little phrasebook which they utilise from time to time. Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the world of the Polka Dot family.

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You wouldn’t know we were from the mountains, would ya?

You’re almost (enter age at next birthday here) now.

A favourite of my Dad’s, this is the reply when you ask for a simple favour. Or advice. Or, basically, just about anything.

Have you money? Cos I don’t.

My mother’s remark when asked if I can go to Dublin to see some college friends over the summer, whose company I have missed dearly over the holidays. She cleverly says this knowing I am unemployed, and have no back up funds to speak of.

I’ve seen this one a million times, I know what’s going to happen, I’ll tell ya and save you an hour

Often uttered by my father when my brother and I settle down on the couch with a cup of tea/coffee to watch any TV programme under the sun. Most humorous when watching a new episode of said TV show, never before seen by anyone.

You’re big enough and ugly enough to make your own decisions

A great confidence booster when I was a young girl, both of my parents have said this when I ask them for an opinion on something, or sometimes for help with stupid problems (Do black shoes go with a purple dress?)

Pet, I am not a mind reader

My Dad’s phrase of choice when you inform him of things that, as your parent, he is kinda meant to know. For instance, everyone in the household knows that I will be watching Home and Away every evening at half six. Or that I like my steak cooked medium rare. Or that I use green Pantene shampoo. This phrase is mostly used when, ironically, you have actually stated the bloody obvious!

So, there you have it. If your parents have any mannerisms you believe are unique to them, feel free to shame them in the comments.

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